A rough copy of our ceremony

100_1039
Originally uploaded by jjdrury81

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to share with Joe and Lauren a very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

I would like to take this time to read to you a quote about love from CS Lewis.

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can lst, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after' is taken to mean 'They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married', then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense - love as distinct from 'being in love' - is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

Will you please face each other and join hands?

Joe, will you take this woman, whose hands you hold, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife? Will you live with her in the state of true matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor her at all times, and be faithful to her?

Lauren, will you take this man, whose hands you hold, choosing him alone to be your wedded husband? Will you live with him in the state of true matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor him at all times, and be faithful to him?

As you take these vows I would have you remember:

To love is to come together from the pathways of our past and then move forward...Hand in hand, along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare.... And always believe that all things are possible with faith and love in God, and in each other.

Will you repeat after me?

I Joe, take you Lauren to be my wife, to love and cherish, from this day forward, and thereto pledge you my faith,

I,Lauren, take you Joe, to be my husband, to love and to cherish, from this day forward, and thereto pledge you my faith.

I understand you have brought rings as a token of your sincerity?

Bless O God these rings, that each gives, receives, and wears as a token of the covenant between them and God, and may they ever abide in thy peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness, and with good purpose do thy will. Amen.

Joe, will you repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love.

Lauren, will you repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love.

In as much as you, Joe, and you Lauren, have consented together in the union of matrimony and you have pledged your faith each to the other in the presence of God and this company, now by the authority vested in me as a minister, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife!

You may kiss your Bride!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present Mr. And Mrs. Joseph John Drury, Jr.

This is not the Berkshires

I do not have a terrible amount of time. But there is at least one thing I would like to get out into the open.

Portland Public Schools and all surrounding suburbs have been closed this entire week due to inclement weather. We have received, in total over the week, a whopping 4 inches of snow. The worst hit areas had a total of 3 inches of accumulation at times.

In addition to schools, businesses have been closed, city governments have been shut down and entertainment facilities have been all but forgotten. The weather has been the center of local news attention. It is all anyone is talking about in the city.

This is how God does things...

Lauren and I are to be wed on Christmas Eve of this year.  This is much sooner than we had anticipated.  We spent much time thinking about this.  It was only through significant conversation, discussion and reflection that we were able to come upon this decision.

After I initially proposed both of us assumed that we would have a wedding sometime next summer in Pittsfield.  We talked about what this would look like quite a bit.  We always had money at the forefront of all of our discussions.  We knew that things would be tight.  We also knew that we could invite no fewer than 100 people.  Furthermore, Lauren had certains standards that we had to adhere to if we were to drag those invited people to lowly Pittsfield.

And so we discussed and we dreamed of our wedding day.  Sometimes we would make minor compromises about where the reception could be held or what level of catering we could have.  But, to be honest, we never fully explored what the day would look like.  More importantly, we never fully explored where the money would come from.  Even a modest wedding of this size would cost an easy $8,000.

I think both of us naively assumed that the money for the ceremony would fall from the sky.  Traditionally speaking, Lauren's parents were supposed to pay.  That didn't seem very likely.  They never really offered.  They did mention remortgaging their house house.  That just sounds terrible.

Eventually, Lauren and I were forced to sit down and look at the facts.  We wanted to get married by the end of next summer.  As I have already mentioned in another blog, we are both in agreement that the time for marriage is already upon us.  In order to make a summer wedding happen we needed to start booking halls and caterers immediately.  Yet we were stalling.  We were holding out for money to magically fall from the sky.

We ended up having a good talk about it one night a few weeks back.  It was not an easy dialogue to get through.  Lauren had some very hard set ideas of what she wanted.  I was stubborn and unappologetically refusing to look at anything other than the cold hard facts of our situation.  But we made it through it.  And we are the better for it today.

We came to the conclusion that the choice was solely in our hands.  We could pay for a wedding or we could choose not to have one.  We have been putting our all into saving over the past year.  We have managed to put away about $8,000.  This could quite easily pay for a wedding.

The saving of that money is so vital and integral to who we are and how we envision our relationship.  To spend it on a wedding ceremony and reception is to cut at the very core of who we are as a couple.  We saved that money while paying very high rents and working very low wage jobs.  We saved that money with the intent of having enough to put a down payment on a house today.  This goal, of buying a house, is absolutely the most importantly material goal that we have.  It towers above all the rest.

Lauren and I are not getting married simply because we love eachother.  We are not getting married because we get along well or we think it will be good fun.  We are not merely trying to avoid loneliness.  We have a shared vision of our future.  That vision, that future, involves a family.  We want to have children.  We have sat down and discussed this matter thoroughly and we have come to the conclusion that it is vitally important to our future family that we own a home.  We have avoided trappings in this matter.  We both agreed that if we are unable to purchase a home that should not stop us from having a family.  But we are firmly convinced and dedicated to making owning a home reality.

To pay for our own wedding would be to deplete all of the funds that we have saved up towards this endeavor in just one day.  We labored over this decision greatly.  We both take marriage and the ceremony there of very seriously.  We want to celebrate our love.  We want to celebrate the massive commitment that we are making to eachother with our friends and family.   We want to sing and dance and have a good time.  It just was not possible.

We are to be married on Christmas eve at Park Square in Pittsfield.  We are going out to get a suit and dress tomorrow.  We have already ordered wedding rings.  They will arrive shortly before we leave the area.  We are inviting our immediate family and maybe a friend or two.  We want it to be small, intimate and meaningful.

We also want to celebrate with all of those loved ones that will not be there on Christmas Eve.  We are in the midst of planning a less formal wedding like reception in the summer.   This will be thousands of dollars cheaper than a wedding ceremony and reception.  But we will still have the same opportunity to sit down and celebrate with our 100 or so friends and family.  We are looking at potential halls to rent out in Pittsfield for the event.  A relatives house is also an option.  Family members are willing and much more able to help out with this event.

This is a decision that we laboured over for many hours and truly came together on as partners; as a couple.  Both of us had our hopes and our concerns.  Ultimately, it was the shared vision of a family and future together and how we would like that to look that pulled us through this very hard decision and brought us closer together.

I know that I prayed over the decision.  I assume that Lauren did as well.  We very rarely talk about such things.  That works for us right now.

It is a funny thing, these blogs.  I thought out what I imagined as a beautiful piece of writing last night.  It was all about how no one had ever told me that Jesus was the son of God before.  Everyone that I had heard just went around ranting about how he loves you or that he said do this and don't do that.  I was never impressed.  Plently of people love me.  My mother loves me.  Plenty of people tell you what to do.  Some I respect.  Some I do not.

This is what I intended to write about.  Things do not always work out as you plan.

Change

There is alot going on right now. I am high on nerves by nature. I can thank my father for that. My mother did not help any either. It is always the end of the world in my head. But I'm ok with that. It doesn't really affect me. I keep chugging along.

I just learned that a worker at Wal-Mart was trampled to death on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving. Over 2,000 broke down the doors early and stomped over his body. The man had been with Wal-Mart for about a week. He was about 6'4", 270lbs and black. They thought he would make a good "security officer". He had never worked a day of security in his life.

The people stayed in the store after they announced his death. They kept at each other for the lower prices. I wonder how it must feel to be one of the ones that were at the store that day. I wonder what it would feel like to receive a gift on Christmas morning if you know that it can from that Wal-Mart on that day. I wonder if it would be life changing.

My initial reaction, and the easy thing to do, is to admonish those 2,000 people that trampled over and killed the man. I want to blame Wal-Mart for allowing this to happen. I want to blame them for putting him there. I want to blame them for creating this frenzy. I want to blame them for being a pioneer in this new economy. After all, they did pave the pathway for this new economy where budgets are tight and consumer goods reign supreme.

I want to do all of that. And I am right to do so. But does that mean that those outside of that Wal-Mart are free from blame? Were they particularly nasty people there in Nassau New York? Am I any better than them? Do I not do the same things? Am I not an active participant in the same culture?

These are my thoughts on this Wednesday afternoon. Anything to get my mind off the layoffs. Word on the street is that Yahoo! will layoff 1,500 on December 10th. Everyone is nervous. I have been busting my ass here in response. There is no way that I will get laid off due to a lack of effort or skill. I have done everything I can. It is in gods hands now.

I am getting married soon. I am getting married very soon. Plans are nearly all set. More info to come.

The Portland Holiday Ale Festival is this weekend.
http://www.holidayale.com/index.php

Elvis Christmas

O come, all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
O come ye, o come ye to Bethlehem
Come and behold him
Born the king of angels
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
Christ the Lord

Sing choirs of angels
Sing in exaltation
Oh sing all ye citizens
Of heaven above
Glory to God, Glory in the highest
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
Christ the Lord

Powell Butte Nature Park

Go Tell it on the Mountain...

I always mean to do some real writing in here.  I construct elaborate essays in my head when I lay down in bed for the night.    I write out introductions.  I have extensive supporting arguments.  I wrap it up all nice and neat.  I always mean  to use all of those professional writing skills that I learned in my 7 years of college.  I always mean to do alot of things.

We went out with some friends on Halloween.  Some folks from Pittsfield recently moved out here.  A couple they are.  One of them is in a band.  They played  a "party" at a restaurant.  It was a good and festive time.  The opening act was an extremely talented one man band.  He played several different instruments, sang a mean tune and put an a great show.  I was one of the few that did not dress up.  People like to dress up to disparage the religous.  Nuns, priests and even the pope were out in full force.

There is a course in front of the Supreme Court right now that recently caught my attention.   At issue is whether a religous artifact can be placed in a public park.  A town somewhere in the midwest allowed a private entity to erect a monument to the Ten Commandments.  The leaders of an obscure new-age religion sued because they were not allowed to erect their own monument.

I received a company wide email at work today.  They are encouraging everyone to decorate our desks for the holidays.  We were given ideas such as trees, boxes, garland, string and more.  But we are not allowed to have anything that implies a religion.  No crosses and no nativity scenes.

I am pretty disappointed that Proposition 8 passed in California.  The voters of California should have never had the opportunity to vote on such a thing in the first place.  I support efforts to overturn the vote.  I do not intend to lay out the argument for such a thing, but I do support a federal ruling banning states from barring homosexuals to marry.

I have been reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.  There is a great chapter in there on Christian Marriage.   I think that his argument on divorce is relevant to this topic.

A great many people seem to think that if you are a Christian yourself you should try to make divorce difficult for every one.  I do not think that.  At least I know I should be very angry if the Mohammeans tried to prevent the rest of us from drinking wine.  My own view is that the Churches should frankly recognise that the majority of the British people are not Christians and, therefore, cannot be expected to live Christian lives.  There ought to be two distinct kinds of marriage: one governed by the State with rules enforced on all citizens, the other governed by the Church with rules enforced by her on her own members.  The distinction ought to be quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian sense and which are not.

We have been trying to plan a wedding.  We are really not sure what we are going to do.  Weddings cost money.  Weddings cost alot of money.  Neither of us are willing to put much money into it.  We have very little savings.  What little we do have we wish to put towards a house someday.  I prefer to just get it over with.  We have toyed around with the idea of just doing a small thing and having a party in Pittsfield next summer.  A party, even a nicely put on one, is far cheaper than a wedding.  But we shall see.

Also in Mere Christianity is a great quote on love.  If we do have a slightly more formal wedding than what I would like I plan to have it as one of our readings.

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing.  There are many things below it, but there are also things above it.  You cannot make it the basis of a whole life.  It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling.  Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all.  Knowledge can last, principles can lst, habits can last; but feelings come and go.  And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last.  If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after' is taken to mean 'They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married', then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were.  Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years?  What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?  But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love.  Love in this second sense - love as distinct from 'being in love' - is not merely a feeling.  It is a deep unity, reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God.  They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself.  They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else.  'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.  It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

It is a good book.  He lays out, in very plain language, a layman's understanding of Christianity.  But it is not without faults.  Most importantly, he has refused to take God on his word when it comes to murder.  He makes excuses for human behavior.  He suggests that God does the same.  He believes that there is a distinction between war and the death penalty with other forms of murder.  He believes, as far as I understand his argument, that God also recognizes this distinction.  Leo Tolstoy dealt with this false dichotomy quite well in "The Kingdom of God is Within You".

Obama was elected to be the next President of The United States of America.  I was happy to hear so.  I did not think that I would see a black man elected to that office in my lifetime.  I do not expect a terrible lot out of his presidency.  I do not expect him to be able to turn the path of this country around.  He is an extremely intelligent and thoughtful man.  But let me say that you can tell that he thinks deeply about things before he talks or acts.  I can respect that.

Laura visited this weekend.  I will post some pictures the next time around.  Suffice it to say that we had a great time while she was out here.  It was alot of fun.

I baked some chocolate chip cookies tonight.  They were delicious.

Psalm 10

LORD, why are you standing so far away?

Why do you hide when there is trouble?

In his pride the wicked man tries to catch helpless people

I hope that wicked people catch themselves with their bad plans!

The wicked boasts about what he wants.

He says good things about those that want more than is fair

He says very bad things about the LORD.

In his pride, the wicked does not look for God.

He will not even think of God.

Everything that the wicked does always works well.

He puts the rules of God far from him

He laughs at the people that do not like him.

He says to himself, "There will be no trouble for me

Nothing bad will ever happen to me or to my children".

His mouth makes bad promises.

It is full of words that are not true.

He says that he will do very bad things to people.

There is evil on his tongue.

He hides behind the bushes near the villages.

He watches in secret for people to hurt.

He jumps out and murders people that have done nothing wrong.

He lies like a lion under the cover of a bush.

He waits to catch someone that is helpless.

He does catch him and takes him away in his net.

He beats the helpless man.

The helpless man fails and falls under the stronger man.

He says to himself, "God forgot.

He hid his face. He never saw what happened".

Rise up, O God! Lift up your hand.

Do not forget the helpless people.

Why does the wicked man say such bad things about God?

Why does he think, 'God will not do anything about it?'

See it all, God, all the trouble,

all the oppressed people.

Decide what to do about it.

The helpless puts his trust in you.

You give help to the fatherless.

The arm of the wicked and evil man . . . break it (LORD)!

Tell him to explain what he has done.

He thought that you would not discover it!

The LORD will always be king.

The nations will not remain in his land for evermore.

You hear, LORD, what oppressed people want.

You listen when they pray. You give them something to hope for.

You care for the fatherless and the oppressed.

People from the earth will not frighten the poor again.

In a bar, In a city...

Neon talking drowns

The voice

I am humbled

I am in awe

Remember

I must talk

I must talk

In this jungle

We all survive

My eyes burn from the smoke

Random memories come back

Laugh

Just laugh

Everyone is concerned

No one cares

Nervous fear produces

The most hearty laughter

Some smile

And some get angry

Some do not talk

Someone listens

Some fight

Some love

God listens

brown eyed women

I had big plans all day to post alot of information in here.  But it is late now.  It is 11:21pm as I am currently typing.  It is far past my bed time.  Pandora's quickmix feature is the only thing that is keeping me awake.

I am starting to settle into things at work nicely.  I like my job.  I like the atmosphere there.  I like the pay.  I wish that I did not have to be worried about the economy and layoffs.  I wish that I could just accept things that I have no control over.  

Perhaps I fret needlessly.  For now, I have it good enough.

It is supposed to rain tomorrow.  It is always supposed to 'rain tomorrow' in Portland after the first of October.  Sometimes it does.  Sometimes it does not.  Rain is a whole different thing out here.  I know that I have written about this before.

We have big plans for tomorrow.  If everything goes as planned we will do the following: 

We will wake up sometime between 9-930.  Lauren will make a favorite breakfast of mine dubbed 'fritatas'.  I have no idea what a fritata is but I do know that she makes a seasoned scrambled eggs with deep fried strips of corn tortillas served with sour cream and salsa that is to die for.  After breakfast we head out to the market.  This late in the year only the big downtown market is opened.  It is always the best market but sometimes I miss the little neighborhood markets.  We are going to get some apples and squash.  I no that I have written it many times before, but I can not emphasize enough how delicious and cheap food is at the farmer's markets here.  After the market we will go home for a little relaxation.  Then we head out for some sushi.   After sushi we go hiking in Forest Park.  We get back sometime between 4-5.  We are tired and do our own things for a while.  I might have energy and go for a bike ride or walk.  Or maybe I am tired and just need to relax a bit.  The Red Sox game comes on at 5pm.   We will work some dinner in there.  Most likely Lauren will cook something.  Being that it is the weekend I will attempt to help.   Instead, I will probably get in the way and get kicked out of the kitchen.  I will feel bad about this so I will clean up afterwards.  Hopefully the Sox win.  After the game maybe we watch a little Boondocks or perhaps I have gone out to rent a movie.  I have a glass of scotch and we call it a night.

Who knows what tomorrow may hold.  Those are my plans. 

I attend church regularly now.  I wrote about this last week if I remember correctly.  As a side note, I rarely remember what I write in here.  I write down all of the random thoughts that are in my head at the time or that I have been storing for a certain amount of time and move in.  I am often surprised by some of my entries.  At any rate, we ride our bikes to work every sunday.  I even missed part of the televised Bear's game last week.  That game hurt.

When we decided that we were going to attend regularly Lauren told me that we had to start giving when they passed the buckets around.  I must admit that I was skeptical.  I am always skeptical about giving my money away.  I have never had much.  I do not like to part with the little that I do attain.  I do not like to make purchases.  I do not like to pay taxes.  I do not like to give to charity.

However, a really telling moment happened the first time that we attended services.  As the money pouches were going around I noticed a young man in front of me 'pretend' to put money in the velvet pouch and pass it along.  Here was a man that knew what he should be doing.  He knew that he should be giving to his community.  He knew all of the good work that the church did.  He knew that to not give would sadden god.   But he was to selfish to give.  He tried to hide his selfishness from other church members.  He tried to hide from god.

I decided that day that I should always give.  Lauren does not think that we give enough.  I resisted at first.  But perhaps she is right.  We having been working on increasing our donation.

It is getting late...

The rain season is coming.  It is a time for contemplation.  It is never so brutally cold here that you shut down entire parts of yourself.  The winters are mild.  There are only a handful of days where you truly need a heavy sweater or  coat.  Instead, it is gray and wet.  It is always gray and it is always wet.  It is a testament to your spirit if you are able to own the wet gray days.  The soggy overcast days are easily conquerable.   In fact, if you only visit the Northwest, you would think them no big deal.  You would think them no big spiritual journey.  But the way of the winters here is not to knock you out in the first round.  The Northwest winter is slow and prodding.  It is gentle but persistent.  The winters here are truly beautiful and majestic.  To the casual observer this is, most likely, the only thing that you will notice.  But to the resident it is easy to get lost in the gray.  It is easy to forget that your entire life will not be spent damp and slightly chilly.  It is easy to forget that there is a sun and that it will reign again.

I am looking forward to the winter.  I love seasons.  They are a way for one to order or structure their life.  I can not imagine living in a place that does not have seasons.  I can not imagine that human beings are meant for such a climate.  I am still learning about the weather cycle out here.  What I had read before I moved set the ground work but it was by no means representative of what it is truly like to live here.  You have to spend some time here to truly capture the essence of the Pacific Northwest.  

It is even later...

I recommend that all of my readers check out  Yahoo's personalized page     I was a fan of igoogle for some time.  However, I mus admit that the My Yahoo page is far superior.  You can have tabs to your gmail if you have one.  Gmail is, after all, a superior email service.  It offers all of the things that that google custom page does and possibly more.  The site does all of this and provides a much cleaner and smoother platform for you to navigate through.  Lauren and I checked it out for only a few minutes and were sold.

It is late.

Good night.

Weekend Update

I have not posted anything on here in a while.  I feel like I should.  I know that my fans are just dying to here from me.

Things have been going well out here.  Though nothing is perfect.

Sylvia and Josh moved out here a few weeks ago.  Sylvia was a friend of Lauren's in High School and college.  She moved out here with her boyfriend Josh.  It is really interesting for us to sit back and listen to their thought processes and experiences involved in choosing Portland.  They needed to get out of the Berkshires.  They had never been here before.  They decided that they wanted to live in a big city.  They decided they wanted to live near the ocean.  They decided that they did not want to live on the east coast.  They looked at all of the major cities and locations on the west coast.  San Francisco was too expensive.  Northern California did not have the job market.  Southern California was not their style.  Eventually, it boiled down to Seattle and Portland.  They chose Portland for a variety of reasons.  Portland is smaller.  Portland is closer to nature.  Portland has more of a small town feel.  Portland has better public transit.  Portland is cheaper.

The similarities are uncanny.

It is nice to have some folks out here from the home front.  They came over on Friday night to watch the Sox game.  We ordered take out chinese, drank Oregon Pinot, watched the game and had some nice chats.

I have been working for Yahoo! for 2 weeks now.  I am half way through a 4 week training program.  Last week was their annual 'employee appreciation week'.  The entire week was jam packed full of fun events.  We had cornhole, ping pong and guitar hero tournaments.  We had trivia, bingo and 'name that tune'.  We had team projects where everyone built bridges out of popsicle sticks.  The shut the business down on Thursday at 2pm.  We had a talent show.  Yahoo!'s got to show off their stuff.  The winner received a check for $500.  Then we had drinks and snacks.  We had breakfast and lunch served to us free of charge.

It is, overall, a pretty nice place to work.  The cafeteria is nice.  There is a free soda machine.  Unlimited drinks.  We have two large flat screen televisions.  One is always on MSNBC and the other is always on ESPN.  There is a cafe that has espresso, cappuccino, lattes, real frut smoothies and more free of charge.  We have game rooms with an xbox, ping pong, chess, checkers, etc.  They do well for making a semi-crappy job good.  And the pay and benefits are excellent.  I was able to provide Lauren with health insurance.  That might be the best benefit.

But I am worried.  The state of the economy has rumors of layoffs circulating throughout the nation.  My job is based on businesses having money to advertise on the internet.  That is based on people having enough money to shop.

I can only keep on plugging away.

Lauren and I have been attending a church.  http://www.imagodeicommunity.com/

I dig it.  Pastor Rick really knows how to lay down a message.  It is right in our neighborhood.  We ride our bikes there every Sunday.

Today's sermon was about Christmas.  As Pastor Rick jokingly stated, this is because 'we all really hate Halloween."  Imago Dei is a part of Advent Conspiracy.  http://www.adventconspiracy.org/  They are a network of churches that are trying to encourage people to leave the consumerism of Christmas behind.  As Rick said today, 'Consumerism is a relgion'.  And it is one that leaves us perpetually unsatisfied.  The idea behind this program is to get people to buy less, worship more and give more.  Our church will be holding a fundraising event where it encourages people to buy less presents and give more to the community.  The money last year went to building bridges in Africa.  In addition to that, this year they will be focusing of high school dropouts in Portland and our homeless population.  He tried to make the point pretty clear that this is not charity or simply giving.  It is about a change in thought processes regarding Christmas.

We went out to our pumpking patch yesterday.  See Lauren's blog for pictures.  It was the first time that we have done something for a 'second time' in Portland.  Lauren baked a delicious apple pie yesterday and is making some pumpkin pie later in the week.  I strongly encourage anyone that has not had home made pumpkin pie to try it.  It will rock your world.

She just made some fondue.  And I am hungry.  So we will have to continue this another time.

October

I would like to see a Sox/Dodgers World Series.

I want to see Manny Ramirez receive a standing ovation before his first at-bat at Fenway.

Nothing else is respecatable.

After that, all gloves are off.

some bright morning

And because of my anguish I was driven, naturally enough, to fervent though interested prayer.  But after all God does not care if our prayers are interested.  He wants them to be.  Ask and you shall receive.  It is a kind of pride to insist that none of our prayers should ever be petitions for our own needs: for this is only another subtle  way of trying to put ourselves on the same plane as God - acting as if we had no needs, as if we were not creatures, not dependent on Him and dependent, by His will, on material things too.

Election '08

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I have been voting for about 10 years now. I have never voted for a candidate in the two major party's. The one exception to this has always been Senator Ted Kennedy. As a one time, and long time, resident of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts I have always had enormous respect for Senator Kennedy and all he has done for our nation and our state.

However, for the most part, I have stayed clear of the nastiness that goes on in the two major political parties.

In 2000 I voted for Ralph Nader. I did not see any real difference between George Bush and Al Gore. I stick to that decision today. I read Nader's book that he wrote afterwards. It only confirmed my convictions.

In 2004 I was so disgusted with the selection of John Kerry and his subsequent campaign that I voted for Ted Kennedy. If the nation was going to choose a Massachusetts Senator they might as well have chosen the one with a backbone. On a side note, it does seen that Senator Kerry has found his backbone as evidenced in his performance at the Democratic Convention this year. But that is neither here nor there.

For governor of Massachusetts I have voted for both Ted Kennedy and Fidel Castro.

I have not yet voted in Oregon. I will get my first crack at that this November.

This year, in the presidential election, I have decided to do something that I have never done before.

I am voting for a nominee of one of the two major political parties.

I am doing this because:

I believe that John McCain is an absolute threat to this country.
Obama has a far better tax plan.
My taxes would be lower under Obama.
Every single person I know personally would have lower taxes under Obama.
The many people that I know that are uninsured could get health insurance under an Obama administration.
Obama supports ways to make higher education more affordable for working class families.
This has been the number one issue in my life.
McCain had the audacity to propose a spending freeze during the debate.
I find this line of thinking incredibly dangerous.
McCain supports the Ronald Reagan economic philosophy of deregulation that got us into this mess in the first place.
McCain was wrong about Iraq and I do not trust him to be wrong about war again.
I believe that McCain would be much more likely to invade Iran, North Korea and even Russia.
I do not believe that any of these actions would make us safe.
McCain refuses to sit down and talk to hostile foreign nations without preconditions.
I find this policy to be sophomoric and have already seen it fail over the last 8 years.
I do not believe that Senator John McCain will be fit to serve for a full 8 years.
In his absence Alaskan Governor Sarah Pallin would take charge of the country.
She is not smart enough.
She is not educated enough.
She is not on top of the issues.
She is wrong on the issues that she does have some knowledge of.
She would, single handedly, destroy this country.
If McCain did not do it himself.
The only reason Obama might lose this election is because of his race.
I do not intend to see that happen.
The right wing television mediat has made it clear that Obama is 'black'.
I will vote for him because of that.
I respect him.
I respect his background.
As someone that grew up in a poor and broken home I understand.
I respect even more that he did this as a young black man.
I respect that he broke away from a life of drugs.
I respect that he was at the top of his class at Harvard Law.
I want a president that can compete with me intellectually.
I want a president that has one up on me intellectually.
I find John McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin absolutely dangerous for this country.
I am engaged.
I am getting married.
I may children of my own one day.
I do not wish to let them into a world that John McCain and Sarah Palin will help shape.
They might destroy it all.

Random Thoughts Collected at The End

It is my last day of work.



I am bored.


I don't know how much I like the term 'fiance'. I am not sure what etiquette is in regards to an engagement. People that have always known Lauren as 'my girlfriend' now have to know her as 'my fiance'. I think.

How do I refer to her to people that I have known throughout the duration of our relationship? Two weeks ago she was my girlfriend. Now her title has changed.


And don't even get me started about 'Lauren Drury'.



I try to refer to her as simply 'lauren' to anyone that I know. It is more respectful. But the situation does come up.


The Red Sox are in the playoffs. It is nice to see the franchise doing so well lately. I am still very sad to see Manny go. Dustin Pedroia is turning out much more valuable than even his biggest supporters expected. I wonder what the future holds for Varitek. Our pitching staff could use some tweaking next year. I hope we keep Lowrie. It is a better option than spending big money on a Short Stop again. I wonder how our outfield will look next year.



The Bears are 1-2. They very well could be 3-0. A decent team.


I really enjoy sports.


I start my new job Monday. I love 4 day weekends. I am going to miss the bike ride to work. I will be carpooling with a friend for the time being. I might bike to the light rail station again next summer. I am hoping that the job opens up my free time more. I would like to get outside, exercise, ride my bike, go to market, go to church, go out to eat, etc. Before my time was always swallowed up trying to make ends meet. I can not count how many hours I spent applying for jobs over the past year. I can keep my second job working for unions from home. Bit I don't have to kill myself adding an additional 8 hrs on workday when projects come in.


We are breaking our bondage to the cell phone industry. We currently pay a total of $80/month for two cell phones. We have ordered Vonage and will be paying only $14.99/month. Vonage has as many minutes as our cell phone plan and long distance. We will be canceling our cell phones later this week. It is amazing that so many people have become addicted to these things. They are expensive, require very long contracts and can cost alot of money on a per month basis. I survived 21 years without one. It took me along time to be convinced of their necessity even after I had one. I do not know if I was ever fully convinced.


Phone shopping was fun. We spent 20 minutes in Target 'practice answering' phones.



I think we are have friends over on Friday. We are becoming so very popular here in Portland. We are going to have food, White Russians, watch some of the debate and maybe the Big Lebowski.


Someone that Lauren knows from Pittsfield is moving here within the month.



See Stuff White People Like #111 (It is in the book but might not be posted online yet)




I am at work.




It is my last day.

Official Officiant

I like to take the idea of who will marry us seriously.

I do not want to just have some friend or a bum off the street become a certified officiant and perform the ceremony.



I know that this sort of thing, especially the friend option, has become popular as of late. I do not support it.



I have considered the idea of having a Justice of the Peace do it. The idea seems acceptable enough. They are, after all, agents of the state. It is through the state that we are married. It is through the state, or society, that we profess our union. It is through the state, or society, that we receive special benefits and designations that are reserved only for the married.

But I also like to think that there is more than that.


I am open to have a minister or some other member of the church marry us. However, I run into several logistical problems with this. Lauren's family is pretty staunchly Catholic. I do get the impression that the inclusion of other faiths, even Christian ones, would not be warmly accepted. I am not Catholic. I say this despite the fact that I was baptized in the Church as a small baby. It was my last real experience with the Catholic Church.

I can not say that I agree with the Catholic Church on everything. I can say that I disagree with them on much on the surface. Although I do openly admit my ignorance on much of the subject matter.


I do not know how comfortable I am being married in the Catholic Church. I am open to the idea of a Catholic Priest performing the ceremony outside of the Church. But I do not know if we would find a Priest willing.

It is hard because I do not live within 3000 miles of the place where we will be married. And our only familial ties with a church are through the Catholic Church.



It is a decision. That we will have to make.

Work Nervous Sad Funny

I am writing from the call center of Telelanguage, Inc. When I am done I am going to email this to Lauren. She is going to post it for me.

I do not have internet access here. I can use google, craigslist and the Oregon Department of Labor's website. That's about it. The google 'news' feature has saved me on more than one occasion. I can look at the cover page. If an article is from the associated press I can read it in it's entirety. I have Lauren email me articles on current political trends, fantasy sports or anything else that I might find even remotely stimulating.

I get the days edition of 'Pearls before Swine' and 'Get Fuzzy' emailed to me as well.


I answer and dial all day long. Clients, primarily, hospitals call to schedule interpreters. I enter the order in the database. I call the interpreters, independent contractors, and try to fill the appointments.

If an interpreter is late, lazy, stupid or not very good at life the call, and the blame, comes to me. I spend all day on the phone with people that do not want to talk to me. I am an intermediary. I am an intermediary for a task that many people resent. Some members of the hospital staff make no attempts to hide their contempt for non-English speaking patients.

Things I have been told on the phone:

'I would like a Hispanic Interpreter'
'I would like a Mexican Interpreter'
'I don't know what language they speak. Can't you tell by the name?'
'I would like Southeast Asian'
'You know, your oriental interpreters are very lazy'
'I don't know what language they speak. That's your job'
'I would like an African Interpreter'


You can often sense the resentment coming through the telephone line.



Not all are like this however. And I have learned to cope with it much better. I have gotten much better at what I do.



Today is my second to last day. I start at Yahoo! on Monday. I am going to be a Small Business Associate. Through email and incoming telephone calls I will be working with small business that want their company to appear on Yahoo! search results. I will be using Excel to sort data and provide them with keywords and advertising help.


Or something like that.


I will be working 18 miles from my house. I will be making a ton more money. I will have a really great benefits package. I can get Lauren health insurance immediately.




I always get nervous about starting a new job.




I have grand ideas about writing another blog about faith. We'll see how that goes. I need more time. I need to not be at work.


I came across a quote from Mother Theresa the other day declaring that abortion was the greatest evil in the world.


It made me sad. There are things I see on the streets of Portland that are far worse. There are things I see every day that I think would sadden god much more.


I think that the Christian community has gotten the abortion issue wrong. I think the same applies to gay marriage. I think that these two issues, and the position that many prominent Christians have taken on them have done much to damage the body of Christ.


I started thinking along these lines after I started reading the bible.


It saddens me.


But more of that later.



In other news....


Check out www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

Funniest stuff I have seen in a while.

This is both an art and a fortunate accident

I decided long ago that Lauren was the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  I had to reavaluate my whole idea of realationships to come to this realization.  It happened quickly.  But happened it did.  I had previously only known the passion, love, interest or whatever you choose to call it that is typical at the beginning of all too many relationships.  I knew, from experience, that these feelings peek and die out fairly consistently.  I was pretty jaded about the whole idea of relationships.

Something happened almost from the beginning of our relationship that I was quite unaccostumed to.  The intense feelings of newness and freshness, lust and desire that you would expect in a new relationship were there.  But there was also something that I had never experienced before.  Riding undernearth the surface of these wild and crazy emotions that I was experiencing was something much more subtle and much more powerful.  We were lovers and best friends and everything else that you would expect out of someone in a relationship.  We were all of that.  We were also, and this was actually much more important, we were partners.  I know of no other way to describe our relationship than that.  Where she is weak I am a rock.  Where I am weak she is a rock.  Where I stumble she strides.  I do the same for her.  We have different intersts and passions.  But, at our core, we were lost without eachother.  We would surely go back to that state if ever we were to separate.

I knew all of this long ago.  We started dating about 2 years ago.  I told her that I loved her only a month into the relationship.  I was in no mood for mincing words.  She had purchased the box set of the X-Men movies for me.  We were in the middle of watching the 3rd movie.  I told her that I loved her.  I will never forget her response.  She buried her head in my shoulder and said "Oh thank god!".  

Lauren and I first discussed the idea of marriage while on vacation in Big Sur in April 2007.  I was young and idealistic at the time.  I thought that we should wait for such a matter until we were settled.  We had already decided that it was the right decision for us.  But we wanted things to be 'perfect'.  In all honesty, I think that we let ideas of popular culture get into our way.  We had not been dating long enough.  We were not settled into our careers.  I could go on forever in this path.

We decided to move out to the west coast together.  We had many conversations about moving out here, supporting eachother, being partners in forging this new path, etc.  Shortly after we got out here the whole marriage issue pressed on me rather harshly.  I decided that time was only wasting and that I should act quickly.  Yet I decided that I should wait until I got a better job.  The Portland job market was much tougher than I expected.    I started out working very part time as a cook/caterer.  Evenutally I took a job at a call center as a scheduler.  I thought I would only work there for a few weeks.  I ended up working there for almost a full year.

The idea of proposing was always on my mind.  But I decided that I would wait until I got a better job and we were more settled.  I applied for job after job and had interview after interview.  Nothing happened.  I have a Masters degree and many years of experience in a multitude of fields.  Yet I could not land a job out here that required only a high school diploma and one years experience.  I underestimated how many over educated 20 somethings were moving to the area.

Several months ago I took up the idea of finding religion once again.  I read the bible.  I prayed.  I do not know if I did it right.  I was not sure who I was supposed to be talking too or what I was supposed to be saying.  But I did it none the less.  I sat on the question of whether or not I should just ask Lauren to marry me or I should wait.  

The answer that I came up with was a resounding "Yes, do it now you fool!".  I do not to say that it was god that told me this.  But I do not want to say that it was not either.

My mother and sister visited me over the winter and I had arranged for them to bring my grandmothers ring for me.  She had offered it to me just in case I had wanted to ask Lauren to marry me before we left.  The urgency of the issue was not pressed upon me at that point and I foolishly refused.   I changed my mind shortly after moving out here.  She brought the ring out and I sat on it and waited.

Lauren had no idea.

About a month and a half ago I decided that the time was ripe for me to propose to Lauren.  I could no longer wait for external forces that I had no influence over to fall into place.  I loved this woman.  I had a feeling much much deeper and stronger than that.  I wanted to declare before all of our family and friends that I was ready to pledge myself to her and a life with her.  

Lauren likes Platinum and silver.  My grandmothers diamond is set in gold.  I decided to have the diamond taken out and placed in a platinum setting.  I cleared the idea with my grandmother beforehand, of course.

I went to a local jewelry store about a month and a half ago that I had read rave reviews about.  I showed them the diamond and we started discussing a handmade ring that I thought Lauren would love.  The diamond that I had was not large but it was absolutley brilliant in its color and clarity.  They let me look at it through a microscope to truly see it.   Also, the price of platinum has skyrocketed since September 11th, 2001.  However, jewelers have recently developed a technique to work with a medal that is almost identical to platinum.  The metal is paladium. Even a good jeweler can often not tell the difference between paladium and platinum. For many many years jewelers did not use the metal for jewelry.  There was an issue with the boiling point that they could not work out.  But they recently figured it out.  Paladium sells at a price slightly more than gold.  Currently, platinum goes for about 3X that.  I had the setting of the ring in paladium.  I had 2 dark saphires on the side of it.  Underneath the 3 stones I had the jeweler design several tear shaped carvings.  Picures posted to the side.

I had decided all of this about 6 or 7 weeks ago.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am not one to wait patiently on these matters.  I have always taken the philosophy that there is no point in mincing words or dilly dallying over crucial issues.  But I told no one.  I went to the jeweler the day that I decided I was a fool in waiting to ask her to marry me.  I found out that having a ring custom made takes much longer than I expected.  We talked extensively about different settings, different metals, saphires and other rocks and many others things.  Eventually we came away with an idea.  I waited for a plastic molding to be made.  This took weeks.  I made suggestions to the moldings.  Again I waited.  

Last friday I received a phone call at about 4pm informing me that the ring was ready.  I stopped into the jeweler right after work.  I looked at the ring,  paid and left.  I thought the ring was nice but I was much too excited to sit around and appreciate it.  I darted off on my bike and got home as quickly as possible.  I had had many different grand ideas of how I would propose.  Now that I had the ring I decided that the best thing to do was just to do it.  We did not need bells and whistles.

I got home and asked Lauren if she wanted to go for a walk up Mt. Tabor.  Tabor is a 700 ft extinct valcano.  It is a favorite park of ours.  Going up there is nothing out of the ordinary.  I slyly got home and took a shower and got the ring in my cargo pocket so she would not notice it.  We walked around the park as we normally do.  We got to the top of the park and stopped at a favorite spot of ours.  There is a park bench that faces west over downtown.  Around 6-7, when we were there, the sun sets over the city and the view is absolutely stunning.  We had a very casual conversation.  We discussed life, happiness, the casual and the mundane.  It was a good conversation.  It was deep.  But it was nothing out of the ordinary.  At a lull in the conversation I got down on one knee pulled out the box, opened it and said, "Lauren, I love you will you marry me".  She laughed and said "are you joking".  I stood kneeling there with the ring in hand.  She asked again if I was joking.  Again I stood there.  She said yes.  And that was that.

The ring is absolutely stunning.  I am very thankful to my grandmother for giving me the diamond.  It saved us alot of money.  But, more than that, it is a family heirloom.  It is something that Lauren can wear for many many years and pass on to her grandchildren one day.  You can not put a price tag on that.  I designed the majority of it myself.  I tried to create the ring that I thought Lauren would like the best while working within our very limited budget.  I agonized over it.  I discussed ideas in length with the jeweler.  The result was, in my humble opinion, absolutely stunning.

Only a few days after I proposed I finally got the 'good' job offer that I had been waiting for.

Funny how things turn out.

I am getting married.

I have never made a better decision.

Our House (Redux)

Considering...

To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.


I am waiting on something big. I am waiting and anticipating. I am nervous and losing sleep. I am wishing that I had more faith.

I am in the midst of a 4 day weekend. I had Monday off for labor day. Tuesdays are my regular day off. I worked from home some. But really, I just relaxed.

We had some friends over for dinner on Sunday night. We had deep fried tofu with barbecue sauce and cheese, creamed lima beans with thyme, slow cooked beets in a sour cream and horse radish sauce, zucchini au gratin and corn bread muffins.

We hung out, had a few beers, talked and watched Hot Fuzz. It was a good night.

We also went out over the weekend and got some plants for our house. Our new place has a back 'patio' area. Our living room has two very large sliding glass doors that opens up to an area large enough to house some patio furniture and not much more. The area has a tree and is surrounded by a fence. We put several different plants and pots out there and cleaned the area up pretty good. We also got a few plants for our home. Total cost: $78.

I went for a run. We went for a 6 mile hike in forest park. We cleaned out our old apartment. We got pizza and burritos.

We have been pretty busy with the move. We wrapped that up pretty good this weekend. We left the old place looking immaculate. The new place is completely done. I have been working at my second job more lately. I had not been working there as much over the past month. The extra hours are very welcome indeed.

There are some things of greater import that I mean to write about. But the time is never right or I am too busy. It pains me to post something on here that I find superfluous or a waste of time. I do not wish to waste anyone's time.

I am really digging Pandora right now. I am particularly attached to the Jerry Garcia, Jorma, Elvis and Coltrane stations. In that order. For the most part.


I am waiting on something. I hope to know more soon.

I will keep you posted.

i am a man of constant sorrow

We have been busy. We moved this past week. We moved over the course of 3 days. It was just the two of us. We just had my truck.

The move went very well. Lauren held up better than I expected. Alice adjusted accordingly. And I was able to get settled in suitable time. I hate the feeling of being unsettled in a new place. It bothers me to no end. I have to have the rooms in order. I have to have all of the clutter out. I want to feel at home. I do not want to waste any time in getting that cozy at home feel.

We did the bulk of our move last Saturday. I had to take apart the railing to get the box spring upstairs. Other than that, everything went smoothly. My hamstrings hurt the next day. Better than my back.

The new place is nice. It is a townhome in a 20 unit complex. It has 2 bdr and 1.5 baths. There is much more room here than at our other place. We have a 'patio'. It is not much. But we have 2 huge sliding glass doors in the living room that opens up to a patch of dirt big enough for some lawn furniture. It has a tree in it. We are going out tomorrow to buy some plants for the area.

We have a park right next store. But the neighborhood is not quite as nice. We are half a block from a pretty big road. But we are far enough away as not to be bothered.

I have been riding my bike every day to work since. At our old place the first thing I hit when riding to work was Mt. Tabor. Tabor is only 650 feet high. But it is steep. And rough first thing in the am or at the end of the day at a crappy job. From our new place it only takes between 20-24 minutes to get to work by bike. It is quicker than the bus.

I really can't describe how great this city is for bike riding. The city has designated 'bike paths' and hands out free maps to get anyone from any one place in the city to any other place. There are major roads with bike lanes. There are less travelled roads that are clearly marked as bike paths. The are signs for bike paths and paintings on the roads directing you to where you need to go and letting you know the distance and even the estimated time to you destination. Most importantly, everyone knows that bikes are just a part of life out here. Automobile drivers had better be on the lookout. Bikes can outnumber them at times.

My favorite part about the ride to work is going over the bridge. The Willamette River cuts Portland in half. Downtown is on the westside. Most folks live on the east side. The city has really jumped through hoops to provide bikers with a fast and safe way to get over the bridge. It is on the bridge that bikers from all over the city converge. There are literally hundreds of us going over the bridge at any on time. The scenery is beautiful. I am groggy. I have not drank coffee yet. It is usually gray (it is always gray in the morning). The mist is rising from the river. The city is in front of you. Beyond the city to the south the 'west hills' tower over the scenery. Beyond the city to the north Forest Park stretches on farther than the eye could ever hope to see.

I love the feeling of getting to work after a good bike ride. You feel like you've already accomplished something for the day. The ride gives you time to think. It gets your blood pumping. It gets the wind in your face. You get some sun (or clouds). All of a sudden our job is not the main goal of your day. At least, it is not your first goal. Your first goal is getting there.


I hope to post some pictures of the new places soon. We have them just about all ready to go. Only a matter of getting it done.

Some things I would like to blog about (but might not)

*Obama delivered the best speech I have ever hear in my life the other night.
*I am working on job prospects
*I will be coming home for Christmas
*We have friends and family coming to visit us soon.
*Football
*Lauren and I have been together for 2 whole years.
*Lauren and I have only been together for 2 years.
*Tea
*John Mccain is not a maverick or a war hero.
*So much more.




I did not really have a purpose when I started out writing this. And now that it is all over I can not even recall the majority of it. Random thoughts. Random thoughts only. I know that it has been a while. And I have to throw a bone to my adoring public. To keep them coming back for more.